Even the Lame Got Tricked by Me Into Standing Up

Chapter 2 Can’t take this son anymore

Mrs. Gu is really angry. The hell is ‘better than Eldest Son and Old Second’?! At this age, the eldest and the second son brought home various certificates of honor, trophies, and scholarships. What about Old Third? He brought back pennants with a lot of words of thanks!

"Little Immortal has descended to earth, pinching his fingers and saving my family with a calculation! Wang Tiezhu of Lao Wang Village here kneels down and gives thanks!"

"Serving the people with the utmost care, dispelling worries for the people with passion as deep as the sea. Thank you to Mr. Gu for curing my 18-year ghost shaved head (alopecia)! Thank you - Li Erqian from Li Village!"

"Serve the people and build integrity together, let's build a better society together! Thank you to Master Gu for finding my grandfather's old grave for me! Thank you from Liu Fugui from Liu Family Store!"

"Accidents are merciless but humans are with feelings, helping others to show their true feelings. Thanks to Little Immortal who pointed out straightforwardly, helping to find a good match for my good daughter-in-law who has been widowed for many years!"

…

The two brothers moved swiftly, and soon they took off the pennants from the whole wall. They swiftly rolled them up and stuffed them into their school bag, and Mrs. Gu couldn't stop them in time.

The Gu family is doing the real estate business. Gu Decheng is also a well-known person in the domestic business circle, and he is best known as a real estate tycoon. There is an exaggerated statement on the Internet that if you pick 10 buildings in Huaxia, 3 of them will be built by the Gu Group. Because he is rich, many netizens joked that Gu Decheng is their Papa Gu, and the house they bought to get married will be built by their Papa Gu. It’s just that those building needs a lot of money to buy, very expensive!

Mr. Gu Decheng, who is now 60 years old has a lifetime of glory and has never frowned when facing ups and downs in life. The only thing that gives him a headache is Gu Ye, his stupid son who can’t let people feel at ease. Now, this stupid son not only didn't reflect on his mistakes, but instead, he used feudal superstition to deceive fellow villagers back in his hometown. After seeing the pennants Gu Ye took home that occupied half of the car trunk, Mr. Gu angrily grabbed the golf club leaning at the base of the wall, "If I don't break your leg today, I'll take your last name!"

Gu Ye jumped up high, and felt amused after dodging his father's golf club, "Dad, you have the same last name as me to start with!"

Gu Decheng choked on his breath and opened his mouth speechlessly because of this sentence. He couldn't find a reason to refute, and became even more annoyed, "How dare you talk back!"

Mrs. Gu was secretly laughing on the sidelines, but her mouth anxiously said, "Old Third, hurry up and admit your mistake to your father. Just staying in the countryside for a few days, you dare to talk back? Do you want to anger your father to death?"

It was fine until Mrs. Gu mentioned it. Gu Decheng became even angrier when she talked about it, "What kind of rotten things have you learned? I don't expect you to be as successful as your two brothers, and make you do something big. You just have to get into a second-rate university and learn some proper skills after graduation. But what you did do? Deceiving people with feudal superstition! How dare you talk back to your parents!"

Gu Decheng became angrier and chased after Gu Ye with a golf club. It's a pity that Gu Ye has nimble limbs, stepping on the table and running away. Even though Gu Decheng is in good health, he is already in his 60s so he can't keep up with the 19 years old Gu Ye.

"How dare you run away!" But Gu Decheng was surprised inside. Old Third's mind can think properly now? He knows to run and hide now?

Gu Ye doesn’t whether to laugh or cry, "If I don't run away, you will lose a son!"

Gu Decheng almost laughed out angrily at this sentence. Suppressing his anger, he asked with a tone of disappointment that Gu Ye couldn’t live up to expectation, "You being like this, can't carry anything on your shoulders nor lift anything with your hands (can’t do manual labor). You can't even pick up trash in the future. Are you planning to rely on fortune-telling to fool people for a living?"

Gu Ye nodded obediently, "That’s right."

Gu Decheng immediately felt his blood pressure soar. He can’t take this son anymore, should just beat him to death!

Gu Ye felt helpless, he was already being honest, so why is his father still want to beat him? Are all fathers so unreasonable? While dodging, he calculated his father’s fortune, "You've been so irritable lately, is it business not doing well recently? It's all because of bad feng shui at home. The stone lion that just arrived home[1] also has a problem, causing money to leak! It's better if you quickly change it as soon as possible. Otherwise, within 3 days, you're about to lose a lot of money."

Gu Ye just wanted to tell his father with the facts: I really know how to calculate fortune, I didn't lie!

The son is using feudal superstition even on his father now, which caused Gu Decheng's face to turn red with anger. Seeing that he is about to swing the golf club again, Gu Yang, who came out of the kitchen with an egg pancake, rushed over in horror and hugged his arm, "Dad! Are you going to beat my brother to death?!"

"I'm going to beat him to death today. I’ll just imagine I never had this son!"

"Dad! Even the tiger won’t eat its cub! If you want to beat him, hit me instead. I am strong!"

"You are also a failure! How could you have the face to come back after scoring just 50 points in the year-end exam?!"

Mrs. Gu saw that even her own son would be beaten, and can't watch the excitement at the side anymore. She hurried over and stopped her husband before giving the brothers a wink, hinting to them to run quickly. Taking advantage of Gu Decheng calming down his breathing, Mrs. Gu dragged her husband back to the bedroom. She gently massaged his head and said, "You too, they are both your biological son, how can you really beat them to death? Don't you feel bad for hitting them? It’s fine to just scare them a bit. The good thing is that Old Third speaks fluently now and his personality is not so wooden anymore. We should be happy."

"Happy? He talked back to me, and I still need to be happy?" Gu Decheng threw the golf club away angrily. Just now he was holding it high and swung down. The thumping sound seems scary, but in fact, each swing only hits the table and the shock caused his hand to hurt instead.

"A benevolent mother who spoils her children will have bad children, it’s all because you pampered them!" Mr. Gu concluded seriously at the end.

Mrs. Gu is suffering in her heart and cannot tell the truth. In her heart, she wanted to ask when she ever pampered Gu Ye. But she couldn't refute it blatantly. She can't say that she is not really being kind to Gu Ye. Raising two children will always result in one being closer than the other. But the eldest and second child who were raised by the previous madam are excellent young men, while Old Third and Old Fourth she raised failed their exams. Thinking about it this way, it seems like it is really her fault.

After returning to his room, Gu Ye stared at the evil aura flitting all over the yard. In his heart, he wondered what are the chances that his father won't beat him up if he demolished the house to change the feng shui. After thinking about it, he palmed his forehead. Having a father is really tiring!

…

The next morning, while having breakfast, Gu Decheng asked angrily, "Where are those two useless ones? Why don't they come down to eat? "

The uncle driver who was already waiting at the door opened his mouth and just about to speak, Mrs. Gu immediately answered, "They went to cram school and left in the morning. The children also know to keep up with their studies."

The driver hesitated, wanting to speak, but after receiving a hint from Madam Gu, he closed his mouth helplessly. Madam pampered the children too much. This kind of thing also wants to cover for them?

In fact, Mrs. Gu has no choice. If Gu Decheng finds out where the two children actually went, he will also beat Gu Yang up. Gu Ye went to do bad things but drags his brother along, she can’t not help to cover.

After Gu Decheng is full, he proceeds to head directly to the company. At the car, the driver looked at him hesitantly. After thinking for a while, the driver took out a paper envelope from his pocket and handed it over, "Third Young Master gave it to you. Hope you’ll... stay safe."

Gu Decheng took the envelope and opened it. Then he said angrily, "That hopeless child!"

Inside is a talisman that looks like random scribbles!

President Gu gripped the spell in his palm angrily. Crushing it into a ball, he is just about to throw the talisman away when a phone call came. Gu Decheng subconsciously took out his mobile phone and the ball of talisman in his hand accidentally fell into his pocket.

Upon arriving at the company, Gu Decheng’s secretary came to report, "President Gu, I just gotten the news. We previously wanted the right to build the stadium for the Winter Games, but now something happened so the results might change."

Gu Decheng frowned, the decision was almost certain, what happened in the middle? Something similar happened the other day too. The piece of land in the north of the city was supposed to be sold to him, but now the seller wanted to discuss it again. Gu Decheng held his forehead tiredly. Things haven't been going well lately and the two little ones in the family are not reassuring either.

Unexpectedly, something that gives even more headache for Gu Decheng happened. Not long after, his secretary came to report with a sullen face, "President Gu, something happened in the commercial street. Someone is going to jump off a building!"

Gu Decheng stood up with a cold face. He is really puzzled, why do all the suicidal jumpers decide to jump on this street? Old Third talks nonsense every day, but this sentence of his really guessed correctly. Just yesterday, Old Third that he is going to lose a lot of money and something like this happened today. Most businessmen are concerned about Feng Shui issues so with things getting more inauspicious, the shops in that street are definitely going to be harder to sell out. It cost a lot of money to build buildings on such a large piece of land where every inch of land is expensive. If he can't sell them now, his company’s cash flow will be a problem.

An hour later, Gu Decheng finally arrived at the commercial street. However, he was still one step too late as that person had already jumped.

Many spectators around whispered, "Is this the 3rd time already this month? This street is so evil. It is said that accidents started 3 months ago and it will occur 3 times every month."

"It's so strange. Could it be that the developer did something abominable? Hence some evil spirit came back for revenge?"

"Who knows? Such a big street, who knows what happened when it was built."

Gu Decheng’s secretary doesn’t have a good expression on his face. He persuaded in a low voice, "President Gu, why don't we find a Feng Shui master to have a look? It's kind of sinister."

"What Feng Shui master?! Nonsense!"

Gu Decheng can't stand the word ‘master’ now. As soon as he heard the word, he will think of the pennants brought back by his 3rd son and just want to beat the child up violently.

At this moment, someone shouted anxiously, "Be careful!"

Gu Decheng felt a vile wind by the back of his head and his heart went cold. Turning around nervously, he saw an out-of-control truck crashing head-on. The people around suddenly screamed in fright. Gu Decheng's pupils shrank, and he took a step back reflexively. Unexpectedly, his back is pressed against the railing on the side of the road, and he has nowhere to escape. Gu Decheng felt a chill in his heart, and there is only one sentence in his mind: It's over! My life ends here today.

Just when everyone thought it would be another tragedy, the truck made a sudden right turn, flying past in front of Gu Decheng.

There is silence for a few seconds, then the onlookers finally came to their senses and came over to Gu Decheng.

"That was dangerous! But you survive a catastrophe, so you will be blessed!"

"God has eyes, it was almost another tragedy!"

Gu Decheng touched his pocket in shock. When the truck almost hits him, he felt hot in his pockets and the truck immediately changed direction. He took it out and looked, it was the charm that Gu Ye gave him. Right now, the spell has been burned, and only one-third of it is left. Gu Decheng suddenly thought of those words Gu Ye said. Thinking carefully, he realized that all his words have came true. President Gu's heart is finally shaken. Could it be that little brat really knows how to calculate fortune?

Back to the car, Gu Decheng took more than half an hour to calm down. Then, he asked the driver, "Where is Old Third?"

The uncle driver faltered, "Madam said..."

"I'm asking you!"

Seeing Mrs. Gu's expression in the morning, Gu Decheng knew that those two little ones are up to no good. After some questioning, Gu Decheng calmly went to the place where Gu Ye and Gu Yang went for their ‘extra lessons’. He has decided, no matter what Old Third is doing, he will talk to him calmly.

President Gu found his two sons under an inconspicuous overpass. His 3rd son, Gu Ye, is sitting calmly on a foldable stool. A white sackcloth is spread before him with many charms placed on it. Behind him stood a white cloth banner where there are 2 Chinese characters written in flamboyant style: Fortune-telling (算卦)!

Turning to look at the person beside Gu Ye, President Gu almost choke on his anger. His fairly normal youngest son is now wearing a Taoist robe with a picture of a Bagua (Eight Diagrams) printed on the chest and also wearing sunglasses. He is holding a big sign in his hand, and a little monk in a cassock can be seen drawn on it.

There is a row of words written around the drawing:
Ancestral exorcism
Evil exorcism
Professional consultation on YinYang and Fengshui
Help to break bad 5 elements and Bagua
Picking names according to personal 5 elements
Literomancy
Cutting off the future (from bad things?)
Free treatment for children who suffered fright from external force, loss of soul (lost their mind), and witless
The price of grave digging be doubled~ muaks

At that moment, President Gu put down the idea of ‘having a calm talk’ and pulled out another golf club from under the seat.

…

Gu Ye: I really know how to calculate fortune.

Papa Gu touch golf stick.jpg

Raw word count: 3410

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[1] 刚进家门的那个狮子也有问题 - Not sure if the author got it wrong or typo, because the stone lions should be here for a long time since it was set up together with the protection array during grandpa’s time [in Chapter 3].