Even the Lame Got Tricked by Me Into Standing Up

Chapter 1 Let me calculate, you got c_u_cked (cheated by your partner)

Just after the Chinese New Year, Anxian Town, located in the northwest of H City, held a temple fair as in previous years. The past few days have been more lively than usual, because a young immortal has come to the town. He could calculate anything, really godly. It wasn't until after 9.00 am that a young man about 18 or 19 years old came to a stall. He took out a cloth banner from his pocket with the word ‘Fortune-telling’ written on it and placed it on the table. Then he sipped slowly from a cup of milk tea.

The young man has a handsome face. He has beautiful peach blossom eyes with long eyelashes and fair skin. His pupils are a deeper shade than normal people, black and bright.

As soon as he came to his stall, the people who were wandering around immediately surrounded him and formed a long line.

"Little Immortal, please calculate something for me, anything is fine." A big guy with muscular arms, thick eyebrows, and big eyes immediately asked with a fawning tone before Gu Ye could sit down.

Gu Ye waved his hand, "Go away, go away, your family is harmonious and in good health, what’s there to calculate?"

When the big guy heard this, he left happily, as if he had come across a big bargain.

"Tsk!" Just then in the line, a young man wearing a famous brand who stood out from the crowd uttered a tsk. His handsome face is full of disgust, and he looked at that big guy as if he was looking at an idiot. Believing that kind of words, have these villagers gone mad?!

An old man in front of this person heard his disdain and turned around to persuade him, "Young man, don't doubt it. This little immortal is the most famous master ‘within 10 miles around and 8 villages’."

At this moment, Gu Ye just raised his head. He saw the man's face at a glance and then turned to look at the girl beside him. The corner of his mouth twitched, and he smiled at the man. To be a scum at that level, he is really something.

Only then did the man has the time to see Gu Ye's appearance clearly, and immediately got his breath caught by Gu Ye's smiling face. The man is interested in both males and females, and his original intention for coming to such a lousy place is just to flirt with girls. He didn't expect that in this shabby place, there is a young man even more beautiful than this girl beside him. Seeing that this little liar is not very old, Luo Junkun immediately had an idea. Since he can't sleep with this girl here, it's not bad to play with this little guy instead.

Gu Ye could see what this man was thinking at a glance and is immediately amused by it. To this body he was reborn into, this bastard might not be able to afford it even with his whole fortune. The Gu family in the capital is a well-known wealthy family all over the country. Gu Ye’s original body here is a genuine young master. Just that the reason he is here in this countryside is because his father sent him over to reflect on his mistakes.

After several people got chased away (due to no need for calculation), it is finally the couple’s turn. The girl who was holding the man's arm is overjoyed and asked, "Little Immortal, help me calculate when will we get married and be together till old age?"

Gu Ye picked up the milk tea on the table and took a sip slowly. Then, he took out a WeChat QR code from his pocket and handed it over without any courtesy.

The man glanced at the QR code, and his eyes fell on Gu Ye's face again. This nose, this pair of eyes, tsk tsk. While transferring the money, he approached with a smile, "Little mister, can I add your WeChat account as friends? When we want to check the Feng Shui of our new house someday, I will find you again."

Gu Ye looked at the transfer amount on his WeChat, 50,000 RMB.

As soon as Gu Ye raised his head, the other party raised an eyebrow at him implying. The girl next to the man couldn’t restrain herself. She tugged at her boyfriend's sleeve, and asked anxiously, "Junkun, why did you pay so much money?"

Luo Junkun said dotingly, "It's okay, I'm willing to spend any amount of money for my baby."

When the girl heard this, she looked at her boyfriend affectionately and blushed.

Gu Ye is amused and said, "Girl, you are ‘so green that you are turning into a seaweed’ (has been cu.cked/cheated). Kick this bastard out of here quickly, lest he harms a good girl’s life."

With this sentence, it's like a basin of cold water got poured onto the affectionate couple.

"What are you saying?!" Luo Junkun immediately got impatient. How could he say that after taking his money?

The girl's expression is also not good. She frowned and asked while suppressing her temper, "Master, did you read it wrong? You didn't read our palms nor check any written characters(Literomancy), why did you say that my boyfriend is not good?"

Gu Ye's tone is unhurried as he said, "It can be seen from his face that he is a typical mean-hearted person who brings misfortune to his wife and children. His eyebrows are too short, and they are messy and unkept, he must be at odds with his peers at home. He is not filial either, have you ever heard of the word NEET or ‘mooching off parents’? Moreover, he has the typical 3-short-3-long fate and the point between his eyebrows is turning green. There are already signs of his soul leaving. If he doesn't start doing good deeds from now on, and also purify those aborted children of his, he definitely won't live past the age of 36.

After Gu Ye finished speaking, he waved his hands at the couple, signaling for the next customer to come forward.

The man's complexion turned uglier. On this cold day, cold sweat actually broke out on his forehead. This fortune teller is absolutely right!

However, the girl looked at Gu Ye, her eyes are already full of anger, "You liar! Cheater! Refund our money!"

Gu Ye shook his head. People in the world want to hear good things about fortune-telling, but as the saying goes, nine out of ten things are imperfect. How can there be so many smooth sailings in the world?

"Within 3 steps from walking out here, you will receive the news that someone is pregnant with your boyfriend's last child. If this child also gets aborted, he will really die childless."

The girl pulled her boyfriend to come forward to argue but unexpectedly, she just took 2 steps and she heard a ding from her boyfriend's cell phone. Even if she doesn't believe it, after Gu Ye said so much, the girl also felt a little uncomfortable. Hence, hearing the sound of a message from her boyfriend’s mobile phone at this moment,  she naturally turned to look at it with great concern. Unexpectedly, just at this glance, the girl's expression changed.

The message was: [Brother Kun, I am pregnant with your child, are you happy?]

The man looked at Gu Ye as if he had seen a ghost. This fortune teller is so accurate that it’s creepy.

"Luo Junkun! You bastard!" The girl reacted, slapped the man's face hard, and cried angrily.

Luo Junkun is still in a daze so he didn't react when he got slapped. This fortune teller is right even about this kind of thing, so the part he said just now that he wouldn't live past the age of 36, is it really true? He is already 28 this year!

Following the girl's slap, a handful of young men rushed over into the crowd. These people are the girl's brother and cousins. The countryside is a place where almost everyone is relatives. Seeing that their sister got cheated by a bastard, they came forward to beat up the scumbag.

During the chaos, Gu Ye stood up and started packing his things. Someone saw him wanting to go and stopped him quickly, "Little Immortal, don't go yet. It's still early, let's do a few more calculations."

Gu Ye smiled and shook his head, "I can’t. The person who is picking me up has already arrived. Just now was my last calculation here in this place. I'm going home."

At this moment, a luxurious business car stopped on the side of the road, and an unusually pretty woman in a little red jacket and a boy around 15 or 16 years old got out of it. When Mrs. Gu saw Gu Ye's situation, her head buzzed from the anger. Not only did this 3rd child not repent in the countryside, but he even dared to engage in feudal superstition to deceive people!

The 3rd child of their family is the shame of the high society, being wimpy and stupid. His father spent a lot of money to put him in a prestigious high school and also hired tutors at home. He is already in his 3rd year at high school this year. But he still managed to come back home with the lowest score in exams. Other than that, he also got blackmailed by a group of hooligans for half a year without daring to speak out. Last year, he didn't study during the holidays and just stayed at home, studying some Feng Shui and numerology. The child even dares to set up a Bagua array in his bedroom as if he will pass his exam after this. This caused his father's blood pressure to rise so he got someone to send the child to his hometown in the countryside. His father wanted him to study to make up for his lessons, and reflect on himself. He doesn't even want to see the child during the Chinese New Year.

"Gu Ye! You even dare to lie to the folks here! See how your dad will scold you!" Mrs. Gu lowered her voice, angrily rolling up the piece of canvas on Gu Ye's table. Then she quickly stuffed it into Gu Ye's pocket, for fear of being a moment too late, Gu Ye’s lies will be exposed in a second, and people will come to their door to settle the score.

Gu Ye looked innocent as he said, "If he beats me to death, you will lose a son. And at such an old age, you will not be able to have another son anymore."

Gu Ye really didn't wrong his stepmother with that sentence. Mrs. Gu is of ordinary background but to be able to become Mrs. Gu, she is not someone without schemes. But there is no big treachery and evil deeds, it’s just that poverty has made her greedy for money so she only has petty schemes. Especially after having a child of her own, she has more ideas. However, she did raise this body he is currently residing from young after all, so she couldn't bear to harm this body. And so, Mrs. Gu's usual trick is to use the stupid and disobedient 3rd child to set off her son's cleverness and obedience. She would say stuff during pillow talk at night, causing this body to be often spanked by his father.

Hearing the child’s words, Mrs. Gu got taken aback. Only then did she realize that Gu Ye had changed a lot. How did the little stammering child change to speaking so fluently? His gaze is also bright, he is not dazed anymore? After realizing the meaning of Gu Ye’s words, Mrs. Gu's face turned red with anger. Who is too old to have children?!

Gu Ye rummaged in his pocket and took out some small change left over from buying milk tea. There is also a 50-cent coin. He gave it all to Mrs. Gu and said with a tone of filial piety, "I, your son, have made money. Later, I will go back and buy a chicken to nurture your health."

Madam Gu stomped her feet angrily while clutching the few dollars.

Gu Ye looked at the young man next to Mrs. Gu again. Immediately, his eyes curved with a smile. He hooked his finger to the child, "Old Fourth, come here!"

The original owner of this body has lost a part of his soul since he was a child. So he became wooden and stupid, and no one wants to play with him. But not only this younger brother does not disdain him, but he has also been following behind him all the time. Whenever he called for the child, the child will run over to him. Maybe it is the memory of the original owner causing this but when Gu Ye saw this child, he had a kind of familiar feeling.

Gu Yang heard his 3rd brother calling, and ran over happily like a big Alaskan Malamute, "Brother, you really know about fortune-telling? Why are you so different now?"

Gu Ye touched Gu Yang's head with a smile, and said meaningfully, "That’s right, your brother has gotten an expert Master as a teacher. So, you don't go to school anymore and should follow your brother to set up a stall under an overpass. Your brother will take you to make a fortune and reach the pinnacle of life in minutes!"

The original body’s biological mother bled profusely when giving birth to him. The rescue failed, and she died during delivery. It was really inconvenient for Mr. Gu to take care of his business and 3 children, so he married the current Mrs. Gu. 3 years later, Gu Yang is born. In this family, Gu Yang's status is kind of embarrassing. Mrs. Gu started to plan for her son’s future, but this silly child doesn't know how to plan for himself. All day long, he only knows to play and eat, foolishly living. He can’t study well and only runs after his brother every day. But he unexpectedly has a good relationship with all 3 brothers.

Gu Ye looked at Gu Yang’s face. This child is a typical ‘fool with a blessing’. Though he can't learn anything properly, he still can live a lifetime of wealth and prosperity by simply following behind his brothers, living off dividends given to him. Hence, Gu Ye once told him, “Young man, you don't need to study. Learning or stuff like this is not suitable for you.”

Back to the current situation, Gu Yang unexpectedly believed Gu Ye’s words immediately, and nodded with interest, "Okay, okay! When are we going (to an underpass)? Let's go tomorrow! Shall I wear a Taoist robe and pretend to be blind?"

When Mrs. Gu heard this, she really wanted to kill Gu Ye, "He didn't study hard at all, he only knew how to play with all his heart, and you still taught him to get something for nothing!"

Gu Ye spread his hands helplessly, "I'm just telling the truth. And you too, wear less red in the future. Else, the redder you wore, the poorer you will be."

The 5 elements of nature are divided into gold, wood, water, fire, and earth, and so is the human body. Mrs. Gu obviously belongs to the gold element. With her rounded head, shapely ears, delicate features, small hands, round waist, and pale skin, this kind of facial features will surely make her rich and powerful in later days. It's a pity that she likes red so much; her clothes, nails, and lips are all red. Red means fire and fire conquers gold, which makes her life rich, but she can’t retain any money in hand. The result is that everything in her life is supported by her husband.

"You!"

Mrs. Gu thought that Gu Ye is deliberately making her angry. In her heart, she said we’ll see how your father scolds you!

Not realizing that the atmosphere between his mother and brother is very disharmonious, Gu Yang looked left and right, and asked with a puzzled look, "Mom, brother, isn't it cold to stand here? Let's go home."

Mrs. Gu gritted her teeth angrily. My son, are you a fool?!

Gu Ye raised his hand and signaled, "I still have something to take, so let’s go back to the old residence first."

After the Gu family settled down in the capital, they still did not forget their homeland. They built a two-story house in their hometown and would come back every Qingming Festival to worship their ancestors. This body got driven back to their hometown because his father wanted him to reflect on his mistakes but he accidentally fell and lost his life. The result is Gu Ye, who has the same name, got the advantage and was reborn in the body. As soon as Gu Ye regains consciousness, he found that although the original body has the fate of premature death, he should have more than half a year to live. The reason why he died half a year early, it's because there's a wisp of evil aura left on him.

Gu Ye looked at his fingertips. He just took off the same kind of evil aura from Mrs. Gu and Gu Yang. Their situation was even more serious than the original body. It seems that there is something wrong with the Gu family in the capital.

After returning to the old house, Gu Ye led Gu Yang to the living room. With a serious face, he said to his younger brother, "See these? This is what your brother laid down for you. We're going to pick these trophies off and take them home."

On the wall is a wall of pennants! Big and small, all kinds of pennants!

"Wow! Brother, you are so amazing! You are as amazing as Big Brother and Second Brother!" Gu Yang clenched his fists in shock. At this moment, his Third brother’s image rose 18 meters high in his heart.

Mrs. Gu, who was a few steps behind, walked in to take a look. She sucked in a breath of cool air, these two rascals! If they take these things home, Gu Ye would have had his legs broken by his father!

Raw word count: 3869

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Banana: Heya, I have started a new project~ (0w0)/ Hope y’all like it. It won’t be easy as there are many keywords not translate-able to English :v

Btw, this novel is not meant to be binged because it has a handful of cases, like Detective Conan style. Banana recommend to stack case by case so that you won’t have to stop at cliff :3 I’m going to group the cases by same chapter title for easier browsing ya.

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