How To Die As Heavy As Mount Tai

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Translated by: Niladri

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Recap: The dwarf craftsman Brian is gifted the Thunder’s Wrath artifact by Lu Heng and the former takes him to meet his goblin engineer friend, Kukuwei. Kukuwei is excited to see the artifact, but is even more excited to see the steel doll which Lu Heng (MC) had found in Ionas’s lair. And now…

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Kukuwei put the steel doll down on the desk, muttered something, and rushed into the workshop.

Lu Heng could hear the sound of rummaging through the boxes and cabinets in the workshop. Then Kukuwei ran out with a strange little device in his hand.

"Two friends from outside, do you have Demonic beast Crystal Nuclei here? It doesn’t need to be too high-level.” Kukuwei said, "My inventory is short of them because of the experiments."

Lu Heng, naturally did not lack crystal nucleii. He took one from the storage ring and handed it to Kukuwei.

Kukuwei took over the nucleus and put in that strange little device. Then he opened the belly of the steel doll and put the device in.

"Oh, where's the controller?" Kukuwei worriedly scratched his head. “If the controller is lost, it would be troublesome.”

The green-skinned goblin was so anxious that he ran frienziedly around the area while murmuring about getting the engineers from his race to study the controller and stuff like that.

Lu Heng stared at the empty black box on the table and felt that the volume of the open space seemed to be different from that of the outside. He took it and knocked at the bottom of the box. The sound was clear and crisp, and indicated that it was indeed hollowed. He put the box next to his ear and shook it gently, trying to discern if something was hidden inside.

"Kukuwei, the controller may be hidden in this interlayer, but there seems to be no gap to open it." Lu Heng said.

Kukuwei took over the box and studied it over and over for a while, then exclaimed in frustration, "I can't get it out. The seal at the bottom of the box is a switch, but the corresponding seal’s ring fell into the depths of the earth during the Armageddon."

"Can't this box be opened by force?" Lu Heng took the box again and looked at it. He found that he had not seen the ring in his memory. It seems that it was lost by the goblins during the Armaggedon, as Kukuwei said.

"This is the work of Master Locke. It's made of solid-compact alloy. External forces can, in no way... destroy it?" Kukuwei's words were stuck in his throat. He could hardly believe his eyes.

He almost screamed from what he was seeing. He saw the man named Ionas, who had never opened his mouth so far, take the box from the white-robed priest's hand, twist it gently and pull it again. The super-compact alloy box, which was the pride of goblins, was opened like a can.

"Thank you very much." Lu Heng took the open box, took out a device half the size of his palm and handed it to Kukuwei.

Kukuwei blankly accepted the controller and it was probably the stupidest this super IQ  goblin engineer ever felt.

The eyes of the steel doll started to give off red light. Perhaps because it had remained dormant for so many years, there was a squeaking click at its joints. However, being under the control of Kukuwei, the steel doll nevertheless made a difficult bow, and then the red light in its eyes was extinguished.

"God of forging, what am I seeing!" Brian rubbed his eyes incredulously.

"This is nuclear technology of another era!" Kukuwei said.

"Nuclear technology? Is that like your nuclear car?”

"No, no, that's a totally different thing. A nuclear car is just a moving, simple machine. This nuclear puppet is an epoch-making item!" Kukuwei got excited and his speech grew more rapid.

Kukuwei's men kept fiddling with the puppet’s parts: "Energy devices are not durable, low-level Demonic beast Crystal Nuclei can only support..."

Well, the goblin engineer got into research frenzy again.

"Our energy devices need improvement. With this experimental puppet, many of the theoretical data left behind by Master Locke can be validated... Oh, damn it. There’s too much work. Time is precious, time is precious." Kukuwei suddenly stopped. "Dear human friend, the goblins need your help."

"Say it, please." Lu Heng nodded.

"We need to promote nuclear technology! We should develop nuclear technology as soon as possible, especially combat-type nuclear puppets. As if his words were not convincing enough, Kukuwei paused. "It involves the life and death of all living beings on the mainland!"

Did this goblin race know something?

"What do you know?" Lu Heng asked.

Kukuwei was a wise man. Seeing Lu Heng's calm and peaceful expression, he knows that the white-robed priest in front of him should also be an insider.

"Brian, for the next conversation, please wait outside the door. No eavesdropping." Kukuwei said to the dwarf.

"Kukuwei, you can't be like this to your friends. I'll keep it a secret. Can't you trust me?" Brian shouted angrily.

"I can't trust your dwarven big mouth and dragon-like simple thinking." Kukuwei mercilessly taunted him.

"You are insulting the copper-bearded dwarves, who never betray their friends!" Brian's loud voice messed up Kukuwei's parchment pile in the corner.

"What do you say about the giant dragon race?" Ionas, who had been silent for a long time, acting as a background signboard, finally could not help it.

The scene was a bit confusing.

Ionas's temper was worse than dwarves, but he was more amiable than the dwarf, because of Lu Heng.

Lu Heng just squeezed his hand, and while the dwarf and goblin were too busy bickering to pay attention to this side, he said softly, "Our goblin friend is praising you for your frankness, and I really like that as well."

Ionas did not care at all aboutt first half of this sentence, but after hearing the second half, his mouth could not avoid curling up: "You have good eyesight, as good as mine."

The dwarf over there was not so easy to pacify. He was stubborn and fiercely quarreled with the goblin engineer as if he was going to blow up. The scene was starting to spiral out of control.

"Brian, I have a way to make sure you don't accidentally tell the secret, just I am unsure if you will want that?" Lu Heng interjected.

"No problem, I trust you!" The dwarf slammed his chest without even asking Lu Heng what his method was.

"I can implant in your mind a mental divine spell that won't do you any harm. The only effect is that when you are about to reveal it deliberately or unconsciously, you will instantly forget it entirely.”

"What are we waiting for? It's perfect." Brian had not considered the danger of this magic at all. In his opinion, friends would not harm him.

Afterwards.

Lu Heng said to Kukuwei, "It won’t be a problem."

"Time is precious, so I won't talk nonsense. The army of the dead will come to this continent through the portal of death, which was the last message that Master Locke sent back to the goblins.” Kukuwei said.

"This is the prophecy left by the gods. How did Master Locke know that? Was Master Locke the God of the Goblins?” Lu Heng asked.

Kukuwei shook his head. "We goblins don't believe in God. We only believe in knowledge. In your view, God is omniscient and will not make mistakes. But from the goblin's point of view, there is still much room for improvement in Master Locke's theory, and there are many mistakes to be corrected. So Master Locke is the most creative engineer and a great inventor, but he isn’t the God of the goblin race.

"The Thunder’s Wrath was made of a new alloy developed by Master Locke, who fought as an accompanying technician of the forging God in that battle. Naturally, he learned this prophecy from the mouths of the gods, not to mention that the result of the prophecy was also related to the goblins.” Kukuwei continued.

Lu Heng felt a little strange: "Why was the participation of goblins in the war mentioned in any of the history books, or even in the mouth of bards?"

"Because the goblins only fought with Master Locke," Kukuwei did not shy away from anything. "We goblins have no fighting power, only our proud brains. We rely on our own knowledge to assist those who are fighting in the front.”

Brian affirmed Kukuwei's words: "The dwarf craftsmen and goblin engineers who stayed behind at that time jointly built a large number of weapons for the army of living, improved the technology of weapon materials, and invented some new weapons in the late war- all of this came from the magical brain of the goblin engineers."

With the combination of Kukuwei and Brian, Lu Heng gradually reconstructed the history that had been submerged in the deep river of time.

In the era of the gods, the goblins were a queer race. They did not believe in gods, nor did they have Gods. Only the simple-minded dwarves were willing to accept a heretic race without faith. Thus, for a long time, goblins co-existed with dwarves. The goblins had great creativity, and the dwarfs had exquisite craftsmanship to turn the goblins' creativity into real objects. The two complementary races had always been the most suitable and loyal partners for each other.

Until moment, when the army of the dead invaded, the powerful race of the dwarves sent all the strong fighters to the battlefield. Only the black-bearded dwarves guarded the dwarf craftsmen and goblin engineers left behind. What the dwarfs did not expect was that the black-bearded dwarf clan was a rare, ambitious clan among the dwarfs.

They tried to control all the goblins in their own hands, seize all the technology of the goblins, and thus rule the whole dwarf race. Goblins and dwarf craftsmen who had made good friends with them had no resistance in front of the powerful black bearded dwarf warriors. The panicked goblins don't want to be slaves from then on. With the help of dwarf craftsmen, the goblins fled back to their homeland, the Underground Kingdom, and closed all the entrances to the Underground Kingdom.

The dwarf craftsmen left behind did not realize that the ambitious clan, in order to conceal what they had done, would point the butcher’s knife at their own people. The dwarf craftsmen who stayed behind died not in the hands of the army of the dead, but from the blade of their own clan.

Ironically, after all this, the ambitious leader did not have time to continue his campaign to rule the dwarves or even the whole continent. He was buried in the Stonehenge Mountains by the appearance of a lich with the army of the dead, along with the whole Blackbeard clan.

When the undead army was expelled from the mainland, the goblins opened the underground kingdom passage again, but found that all the dwarf craftsmen friends died tragically, and the dwarf fighters returning to the Stonehenge Mountains hated them. The goblins, that were unable to argue, had to return to the underground kingdom and never dared to appear above the ground again.

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NILADRI: This chapter sort of ended on a bitter note... Well, my job training has started and will go on for 3 months. Kinda getting used to the new city. No translation schedule- but at least 1 chapter guaranteed per month. Still, I will try to aim for 3 or 4 per month. If you liked this chapter, or found a mistake, leave a comment.

Also, I am not doing ko-fi sponsored chapters anymore, but if you liked my translation and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee through the button above. I might squeeze in a chapter if I have time, but it would be extremely encouraging.