Even the Lame Got Tricked by Me Into Standing Up

Chapter 49 I choose to commit suicide! Part 1

There is no self-study session on Saturday night so the students are free to do any activities. Some students will go to the library to read, and some simply stay in the dormitory.

Gu Ye went home after having dinner in the cafeteria. Zhao Pengyu and Xia Xiang also came over, euphemistically calling it ‘House Warming’ but actually just wanted to relax in his house.

Zhao Pengyu turned on the TV, lay down on the sofa, and gave a sigh from his soul, "Relaxing! Why didn't I ask my dad to buy me a house too? Are there any vacancies around your unit? We can be neighbors."

Gu Ye took out the fruit from the refrigerator. Zhao Pengyu turned his head and found that the fruit plate floated to the kitchen by itself. "Frick! Gu Ye, what are you keeping at home?!"

Xia Xiang took the remote control and said while looking for a movie, "It’s a beautiful big sister. You saw her before in the haunted house."

"Oh, that sister, the one from the painting!" Zhao Pengyu immediately became less nervous. When Hong Dou came over with a fruit plate, Zhao Pengyu quickly took it and said politely, "Thank you, sister!"

Gu Ye’s mouth twitched, this guy is so big-hearted!

Xia Xiang raised his eyebrows when he saw a shadow flashing past him in the study. He put down the remote control in his hand and walked towards the study. It was really strange to find such a thing in Gu Ye's home.

However, Xia Xiang didn't see anything strange in the study. Instead, he saw a few of Gu Ye’s paintings hanging on the wall and some elegantly written calligraphy characters. After seeing clearly the words, Xia Xiang couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Gu Ye, where did you get a calligraphy master to write these kinds of words for you? Has he gone crazy?"

Gu Ye was sitting on the sofa eating grapes, "It took me a lot of effort to get it. Isn't it cool?"

Xia Xiang didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "Yes, yes, too cool. It's a waste of the good handwriting to write you such words."

Gu Ye rolled his eyes, "You don't understand the true meaning of appreciation at all."

Zhao Pengyu sat up and ran over to take a look curiously, "What? Let me take a look!"

Hearing that, Gu Ye's hand paused. When the grape reached his mouth, he quickly put it down and chased after Zhao Pengyu, "There's nothing to see! No need to look for it!"

"Why can't I see it?" Zhao Pengyu became even more curious from that and quickly ran to the study.

Gu Ye's heart skipped a beat. The shameful feeling that his underground love affair was about to be exposed caused him to say, "Daughter! Your uncle is here! Get up quickly and say hello!"

Following Gu Ye's words, Ling Ling, who was sitting on the bookshelf perfectly playing the role of a doll, suddenly stood up.

Zhao Pengyu, who had just reached the door, was so frightened that he jumped more than 1 meter high. He was scared out of the study before he could even enter, "Mom! What the hell?!"

Gu Ye chased after them and hugged Ling Ling. Then he introduced her seriously, "Don't be afraid! This is my adopted daughter."

Zhao Pengyu looked horrified, "Why is she moving!?"

"Because she absorbed a lot of resentment and developed spiritual consciousness. Her IQ is only 2 or 3 years old and now learning to speak. Ling Ling, please say hello to uncle."

Ling Ling was very obedient and stretched out her little hand to Zhao Pengyu, "Hello, uncle."

Zhao Pengyu bravely waved, "You, you too."

Gu Ye breathed a sigh of relief quietly and pulled Xia Xiang out. Closing the study door, he then asked them both, "So, uncles. Did you prepare any gifts for the child?"

Both of them twitched their lips and shook their heads, "Next time."

Gu Ye put Ling Ling in Zhao Pengyu's arms, "Then, give her a hug."

Zhao Pengyu was deeply afraid of this kind of doll that could move and talk on its own so his face was full of pain when he hugged it.

Gu Ye told Zhao Pengyu seriously, "Don't worry, she won't hurt anyone."

Zhao Pengyu was a little surprised when he realized that Ling Ling's skin was not like those dolls sold in the market, but rather human-like.

Noticing, Gu Ye said seriously, "Her skin is made of human skin."

"Oh my god!" Zhao Pengyu was so frightened that his face turned pale, "I'll give your daughter back to you! Hurry up and take her!"

Gu Ye said regretfully, "It's rare for someone to visit our home, but you are so cold. Ling Ling should go and play with Aunt Hong Dou."

Zhao Pengyu looked like he had seen a ghost. He raised his head and looked around, fearing that there was ‘someone’ somewhere he couldn't see.

Xia Xiang was used to this kind of thing, so he was just slightly surprised. But he looked at Gu Ye with a complicated look in his eyes. Earlier, he saw the signature (of the calligraphy master). ‘Gu Ye is the head of the family’, these words inevitably make people think too much.

Gu Ye smiled and didn't explain anything. Xia Xiang was not one to talk too much, so he pretended not to know anything and picked up the remote control to continue browsing for movies.

"Let's stop watching TV and play games instead." Zhao Pengyu wanted to find something to do to occupy his mind and was afraid to look at the human-skinned doll wandering around the house. Especially when the doll looked at him with resentment, as if looking for an opportunity to get close to him.

"Let's play then," Gu Ye lay lazily on the sofa, and Xia Xiang also took out his mobile phone, "PUBG or Honor of Kings?"

“Honor of Kings." Gu Ye said, "I have to concentrate if we play PUBG. It's tiring."

While the TV was still turned on, the three of them logged into the game. The game lasted until past 10.00 pm. Gu Ye looked at his watch and said, "Last game, after this you two should go back to school. I’ll play as Magician, and take out my little fox (Daji)*."

*Game heroes, if you need to know more, please google Honor of Kings. Banana don’t play the game so the jargon might be translated wrongly here.

Zhao Pengyu laughed, "Most of the foxes are played by little girls."

Gu Ye said nonchalantly, "It doesn't matter, this hero is the best to use. I'm lazy so I’ll just throw my skills at the enemy then run away."

"Why is there another Magician in the group? There is already a Magician here. Swap for another one on the 4th floor/row."

"It doesn't matter, I'll play the tank. Gu Ye will go to the top lane with me, and leave the middle lane to him."

Gu Ye moved to Xia Xiang, "Brother, protect me!"

"Okay~ I will always stand in front of you!"

Zhao Pengyu was disgusted, "That's enough, you two! I'll play Assassin, taking out my monkey (Wukong)."

Xia Xiang is also a scheming person. He plays the game in various styles, just like a little strategist. He always thinks one step more than his opponent, predicts the opponent's thoughts, and kills the opponent's shooter as soon as he comes up. The kills are for Gu Ye to take.

The Shooter on the opponent's side is a vengeful person: [Fox, you are so dead!]

Gu Ye flicked his tail and ran away: [Oh.]

Opponent Lu Ban: [You can lose the team battle, but Daji must die!]

Zhuge Liang: [OK.]

Arke: [OK!]

Zhao Pengyu: “They also formed a team.”

Xia Xiang smiled, “Three rows versus three rows, no surprise.”

Zhao Pengyu: [My big stick is already so thirsty!]

Opponent Lu Ban: [Then come and beat me. If you can’t beat this Father, you lose.]

Gu Ye: [Monkey, don’t touch my Lu Ban!]

Xia Xiang: [It’s my Lu Ban!]

Zhao Pengyu: [Nonsense! Lu Ban belongs to all of us!]

The opponent teammates were all amused by the banter. This was a typical move of gaining EXP from killing the hero Lu Ban.

Xia Xiang’s hero squatted in the grass with a smile and called Gu Ye, "Come on, squat here."

By now, Gu Ye was already sleepy and yawned. Without using his brain, his character simply followed behind Xia Xiang the whole time. No matter who comes, he will throw a set of skills at them and then run away. In the end, Gu Ye happily took 19 kills.

After that round, the opponent Lu Ban has already surrendered. He added Gu Ye as a friend and messaged: [Sister, take me to fly~~ (carry me)]

"Pfft!" Gu Ye was amused. This man was even more big-hearted than Zhao Pengyu.

"No more playing, let's go!" Zhao Pengyu took the bicycle key that Gu Ye put on the table, "Retreat!"

Seeing that, Gu Ye is disgusted with Zhao Pengyu. So shameless!

Probably because he was having too much fun playing games, after Gu Ye fell asleep, his dreams were about ‘seckilling’ Lu Ban.

*Killing within a second, instant kill

A set of skills thrown out can seckill Lu Ban, and the process of seckilling was particularly enjoyable. Between kills, Gu Ye noticed that Lu Ban's appearance had changed.

It still has the same short legs, but its face has turned into a baby face made of inferior materials. It has a pair of blood-red eyes, with bloody tears streaming from the corners of its eyes. There are a few big freckles on its face while the nose is small. Its mouth is big, and the grin is very weird[1].

Wearing a shabby little black suit, the hero held a red thread in its hand and walked towards Gu Ye step by step.

Gu Ye raised his eyebrows and thought to himself, ‘Frick, this thing can't beat him, but dare to try scaring him! Beating such a ghost is like beating his 3rd grandson (easy like grandpa hitting grandson). Who gave you the courage to scare Laozhi like this?’

Swinging his big foxy tail, Gu Ye ran towards the opponent, and used a set of skills to send the opponent directly back to his hometown (save point)!

"Ha!" Gu Ye sneered, crossing half the canyon and blocking the door of the other party's house (save point), waiting for the other party to resurrect.

That 'Lu Ban' with a ghastly face probably didn't expect to be eliminated as soon as it resurrected. Holding a red rope and looking at its hand in confusion, it subconsciously came out to find Gu Ye. Unexpectedly, before leaving the house, a big fox suddenly appeared before its eyes and whipped it to death with one swing of its tail.

After finally being resurrected, the baby ghost held his face in fear, "This is... a mystical master's dream!"

Gu Ye was squatting in the grassy area. As soon as the ghastly 'Lu Ban' comes out, he will use a set of skills to send it back to his save point and flash forward to kill it even though it’s a melee range.

As he kept killing, Gu Ye discovered the joy of playing hide-and-seek with his opponent in the canyon, killing it in various ways. He killed the hero more than a hundred times in one night, scaring the baby ghost so much that he broke down and cried.

Gu Ye feels refreshed when he wakes up in the morning. Thinking about that dream amused him, "This game is poisonous!" Gu Ye patted his face. He usually didn't dream, but he didn't expect to dream about playing games. But to think Lu Ban turning into a baby ghost, it’s too funny.

…

In a dark room with all the curtains drawn, a ghost child sat on the altar table and broke down crying.

"I don't want to do this task! I can't stand it anymore! He is a master! His spiritual power is too high. I induced him to enter a dream, but he dominated my dream! He kept killing me! Even when I don't go out from the save point, he will jump in and kill me! Even if I hide in the grass, he can find me! He killed me more than a hundred times in my dream!"

"Please no, we've all received money from others, how can we not do anything? Didn’t we already have an agreement when you came back with me? To fulfill other people's wishes, be a good ghost." Beside the altar table, a man squatted there to comfort the baby ghost. "You just have to take him by surprise. Then, take advantage of that time and tie a red thread. You can do it."

"I'm not going!" The kid cried heartbreakingly.

The skin on the top of his head twitched when he was anxious, and his brain matter seemed to burst through the sutured wound. He looked extremely scary so the man who persuaded him quietly stepped back a little, and coaxed him hard, "Try again. If you succeed, I will buy you 5 jin (2.5 kg) of lollipops."

Hearing his favorite candy, the baby ghost compared it with Gu Ye's terror. He didn't hesitate at all and declared, "I rather choose to commit suicide!"

Those words caused the man to frown. Already a little impatient, he is just about to get angry when the man sitting in the corner looking at the computer says, "That girl came to ask when her wish will come true."

The man turned coldly and said with a sneer, "Tell her that her heart is not sincere so God will not respond. Then, asked her for 3,000 yuan of incense money. Use psychological hints to fool her, and finally make her get a loan."

…

Raw word count: 6226 (whole chapter)

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[1] Banana: Why do I feel like the author is describing Chucky? ^_ ^;;