Today, the Foolish Scum Gong Screwed Me Over Again

Big Yellow: "..."

Qiu Yanzhi couldn't help but dance around: "Did you see that just now? My tears came out in a flash and went back in a swoosh and the details were right on point! Right, did you record it? Play it back for me! I want to see my genius acting again… I’m a much better actor than those villains in TV shows. I’m so damn good at this. I should’ve majored in drama back then, not because of anything else, but because Laozi has this godly talent hahahaha..."

Big Yellow: .......

Seeing how Big Yellow was stunned, Qiu Yanzhi said, "What are you staring at? Quickly show me the video. This might be my chance to debut..."

Big Yellow: "Our company has not yet developed a screen recording function..."

Qiu Yanzhi was a little disappointed. He pursed his lips, "Tsk. How can you call yourselves the world's most advanced technology company when you can’t even record… This game your company made is just so so."

"So so?" Big Yellow was driven to painful tears, "Have a look at this tree, this flower, these reeds. You call this level of attention to detail so so?"

Qiu Yanzhi shrugged and turned around to walk back.

"I haven't played any other full dive VR games."

Big Yellow followed behind him, muttering all the while, "Then you'll know if you try playing some other games. Compared with them, our game is really the best in the industry! It’s almost indistinguishable from the real world! I’m not exaggerating..."

Qiu Yanzhi perfunctorily agreed, "I know, I know. Your company's game is the best in every way..."

Big Yellow muttered in a small voice, "Technically, this is the only game in our company that's the best..."

Qiu Yanzhi laughed.

That being said, Qiu Yanzhi really hasn’t played any other full dive VR games before. Even so, he was still able to notice that the quality of the game was definitely world class, if not the cream of the crop.

Because this game was realistic enough to be indistinguishable from the real world, sometimes Qiu Yanzhi’s perception of reality becomes muddled.

This was by no means an exaggeration. In order to enhance the player's sense of engagement, this game utilized the player’s own data to make appropriate modifications and adjustments. Players also had to use their real name, and details were adjusted based on the player's identity.

For example, Qiu Yanzhi was surnamed Qiu, so his family in the game were also surnamed Qiu.

The most exciting thing was that - this game could only be registered with a piece of ID. It was also rated for 18+ adults.

After all, it was a full dive VR simulation game that focused on romance. After a certain point in the relationship, certain situations were essential.

So the game was also very protective of the player's privacy. Unless the player sounded the emergency alarm, even the staff working on this game in the background had no idea what was going on inside.

‘Big Yellow’ was a yellow orb with wings. It’s an AI assistant designed to help the player complete the game.

Qiu Yanzhi has never really been interested in games, but when he entered this one, he was captivated by the 1:25 min 3D video intro!

Five different types of beautiful men came into view one by one.

There was a genius singer with a gentle voice, an arrogant school idol from a humble family, a cold and cruel solitary painter, a warm and sunny student reminiscent of a puppy....

Every one of them was stunning in their own way.

Pretty faces just happened to be Qiu Yanzhi’s weakness. He was rooted in place as his senses were assaulted with beauty.

Until the last man slowly pushed open the door and strode over.

The sound of black shoes slowly landed on the marble tiles. The man in a black and form fitting suit slowly buckled the cufflink on his left wrist. He raised his head, gently displaying the graceful line of his jaw. On the high bridge of his nose was a pair of deep and cold eyes.

A faint glance from him made Qiu Yanzhi feel like fireworks were going off beside his ears.

The explosions were deafening.

Until the end of the video, Qiu Yanzhi was unable to recover from his trance.

That person had to be made from data. How could anyone be so handsome in reality?

Qiu Yanzhi was so astonished that it was like he lost his soul.

He was in no mood to listen to Big Yellow’s introduction of the game.

Big Yellow: “...That’s the gist of it. Since this game doesn’t support multiple capture targets at once, you can get to know the five men for a month before choosing one to pursue…”

"No need." Qiu Yanzhi calmly interrupted him, "I've already made my choice. That last one He Zhou."

Big Yellow: "Please reconsider. You only have the most superficial understanding of them now. Why not get to know their personalities and backgrounds a bit better before deciding? If you want to change your capture target later, you’ll have to start over from the beginning again.”

Qiu Yanzhi raised his head and repeated, "He’s the only one for me. My choice won’t change.”

For a long time afterwards, every time Qiu Yanzhi thought about how determined and decisive he was then, he always regretted it inside.

Who would’ve thought.

President He, who possessed a gold star body and a perfect face...

...Was just a big idiot with nothing inside his skin.

But at that time, Qiu Yanzhi was completely unaware of how important a person’s inner side could be. He was such a shallow person that he was taken in by He Zhou's astonishing beauty that was enough to make people blush and gasp at first glance.

Big Yellow: "Fine. Right now you have three convergence cards. You can use them at the convergence pool to draw new cards. The convergence pool is divided into six areas. The first is a combination pool that draws from all possible cards while the other five each correspond to a specific target.

Without hesitation, Qiu Yanzhi chose He Zhou's pool.

Even though Big Yellow repeatedly emphasized that the probability of drawing SR cards from the individual pools was much lower than the combination pool and that there was only a 0.001% of drawing a SSR card, Qiu Yanzhi did not hesitate in the slightest.

Qiu Yanzhi drew a N-ranked card on his first pull. It was a character card with a cake shop's NPC lady on it.

Qiu Yanzhi looked at the card and frowned. He asked Big Yellow, "Isn't this the He Zhou card pool? Why are there other people in it."

Big Yellow explained, "There are a limited number of He Zhou cards, so it's impossible to draw a He Zhou character card every time. Just keep trying. He Zhou has quite a few R-ranked character cards."

"Then what's the use of this N card?"

"...You can get a Portugese egg tart."

Qiu Yanzhi: "........"

On his second try, Qiu Yinzhi drew a NH card of a supermarket cashier.

He got a dinner greeting from the cashier.

Qiu Yanzhi: "........"

On his third try, Qiu Yanzhi drew another NH card from a supermarket cashier.

He got a lunch greeting from the cashier.

Big Yellow seemed to sense Qiu Yanzhi's frustration and offered some consolation, "Don't worry. You can buy convergence cards using the game’s virtual gem currency to unlock dating scenarios of various levels."

Qiu Yanzhi felt his face heat up as soon as he thought about He Zhou’s appearance. There seemed to be a little fawn stumbling around in his head. He asked with a smitten look, “How many gems do I have? I’ll use it all! For He Zhou, I'd give everything I have!"

Big Yellow was overjoyed: "Your current gem balance is zero, but you can also get diamonds by recharging! For every 1 RMB you spend, you get one gem! Only 100 RMB for a convergence card! Also, the first time you recharge 10,000 RMB, you’ll get a guaranteed He Zhou Meeting card! Isn’t that exciting? Quickly come top up your balance!"

Qiu Yanzhi: "........"

Qiu Yanzhi felt his face cool down. The fawn wasn’t stumbling around anymore either. "Oh I see. I give up then. Bye.”

Poverty has made me cold-blooded and heartless.

Big Yellow saw the situation was not good. It panicked and begged Qiu Yanzhi to stay: "Don't go! Don't go! Don't go! Actually our convergence cards are given out as a prize for signing in. One card for every two days. You can also earn gems through completing daily tasks.”

"And don't worry, even if you can't draw a He Zhou card, you'll still get to experience the He Zhou love route because you chose He Zhou. The cards drawn from the pool just unlock side quests and special plotlines.”

Qiu Yanzhi finally relaxed.

He began the journey of a free player.

By dedicating himself to completing the daily tasks, Qiu Yanzhi got a lot of useful and useless cards.

Everything seemed perfect. The only downside was that his progress in the main He Zhou storyline was zero.

He’s only held hands twice after playing this game for a month! He didn’t even get a single kiss yet!

But that wasn’t even the worst part.

It was only now that Qiu Yanzhi realized just how bad He Zhou's temper was. Even his handsome face couldn’t make up for his scummy personality… Qiu Yanzhi’s enthusiasm for the game plummeted.

After only catching a glimpse of He Zhou’s back as he coldly departed for an entire week, Qiu Yanzhi even thought about quitting the game.

As a result, he turned in the convergence card he had just gotten without thinking about it too much.

The starlight turned and turned and turned.

The card never flipped over.

Qiu Yanzhi waited for a full minute.

Only then did that card flip over.

In an instant, everything became blindingly bright! A strange golden light shone from the card!!

Big Yellow came over and exclaimed in shock, "A SSR card!!!"

When the golden light finally dissipated...

Qiu Yanzhi froze when he got a good look at the card.

Even an AI like Big Yellow was trembling: "...Mar-Marriage card?!!!!"

Qiu Yanzhi picked up the card with shaking hands.

He saw a line of instructions written on the card.

Top Quality Limited Quantity Marriage Card.

After marriage, you can ask the male lead He Zhou to fulfill his conjugal obligations to the player.

Qiu Yanzhi only felt his heart go thump thump thump thump thump thump.

...Were these...conjugal obligations what he thought they were?

The idea of quitting the game vanished like smoke in an instant.

Yep.

Qiu Yanzhi was just this flippant.

As he recalled all this, Qiu Yanzhi had a benevolent smile on his face. Then he suddenly saw He Zhou coming back in his direction. Before Qiu Yanzhi even had time to react, he subconsciously took a few steps back and hid behind an extremely sturdy tree.

He Zhou looked a little harried. He looked down at the ground everywhere, as if he was looking for something.

Meanwhile, Qiu Yanzhi rubbed at his face. A second later, his expression was that of a disillusioned wife who had been abandoned.

But before Qiu Yanzhi could start his performance, He Zhou suddenly stopped in his tracks.

His eyes fell on the lawn beside the cobblestone road. In a split second, his entire demeanour softened. He leaned down and carefully picked something up.

It was an old-looking silver bell.

When He Zhou's eyes fell on it, they became a thousand, no, ten thousand times more loving and gentle than usual.

Based on his experience from watching ten years of dog-blood soap operas, Qiu Yanzhi suddenly had a bad feeling about this.

At the same time, He Zhou's phone rang again.

Qiu Yanzhi and He Zhou were close to each other and the surroundings were quiet, so he could hear the voice on the other end of the phone.

It was the warm voice of a man: "Xiao Zhou, I heard you got married. Congratulations."

He Zhou: "...Qikang-ge."

The man laughed, "It’s been a long time. Why don't you call me teacher anymore?"

He Zhou pursed his lips very tightly and didn't speak.

The man was silent for a moment. He suddenly asked very gently, "That person... do you like him?"

"Not at all." He Zhou didn’t hesitate at all as he crisply delivered the answer.

Come on big brother, at least pause for a bit. Were all of Laozi’s previous efforts in vain?

"I'm returning to the country tomorrow afternoon." the man said, "Can Xiao Zhou come pick me up?"

No!!!! Qiu Yanzhi silently roared in his heart. He’s going on his honeymoon with me tomorrow morning!!!! The location’s already decided and everything!!!! The easternmost Hongming Island on the mainland! It's supposed to be the prettiest place in the whole game!!!! You can only go if you're married!!! It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity!!!!

"Of course." He Zhou didn't even blink an eye.

Qiu Yanzhi's heart felt like it was half drenched in ice-cold water.

In his panic, he took out Big Yellow and mouthed his question about whether it was possible to go alone to Hongming Island.

The result was a resounding no.

Qiu Yanzhi's heart was completely frozen.

Laozi’s Hongming Island ah!!!!!

He Zhou please die on the spot for me.

It’s fine if you cheat on me, but how dare you deprive me of my f*cking vacation!

Just then, He Zhou suddenly turned with narrowed eyes. He shouted harshly, "Who's there!"

Qiu Yanzhi’s mind instantly went blank. He was so nervous that he forgot to even blink or breathe.

As the sound of He Zhou's footsteps got closer and closer, Qiu Yanzhi panicked and shouted out in a trembling voice, "...Meow~"

He Zhou's footsteps paused.

Qiu Yanzhi was relieved.

He put even more effort into his next cat call.

Just when Qiu Yanzhi was puffing up at how his godly acting skills even extended to animal impressions, he heard a bird. Suddenly, something fell on Qiu Yanzhi's head.

The hairspray he used dulled the sensation on his scalp.

But the very experienced Qiu Yanzhi understood what happened in less than 0.1 seconds.

It was...bird poop.

As the saying goes, misfortune never came alone. Just as Qiu Yanzhi’s head was filled with stuff like, “F*ck... F*ck! I got sh*t on my head! I can't move! Why isn't He Zhou leaving? Dammit why does this game have to be so realistic…” his left arm was suddenly grabbed. Then the man forcefully turned him around. His voice was cold, "What are you doing here?"

Qiu Yanzhi's entire body stiffened as he looked at He Zhou's icy gaze. His thoughts then turned to the prominent pile of white bird excrement on his head. The awkwardness of the moment almost made him lose the ability to think.

He opened his mouth slightly with both hands fixed stiffly to his chest, ready to offer a less foolish explanation for his current behavior.

However, as soon as the first quivering tone in his throat spilled out...

...He lost.

He lost so utterly and completely that there was no hope for a comeback.

Because he let out a faint, warbling...cat call.

........

The air was quiet for a moment.

He Zhou's eyes gradually became confused.

Qiu Yanzhi wanted to die right then and there.