Chapter 16 - Chasing After the Beloved Remnants (2)
(Wait. Felix likes Else...? Else is me, though? You’re kidding me!)
I was too shocked that I couldn't say a single word. Because I was twenty-two before my death, and Felix was only ten.
(Maybe it’s a lie to keep Tiana at a distance... nope. Doesn’t seem like it.)
No matter how much Felix had changed, he was never the kind of person who would lie about that. Above all, it was clear from his demeanor that his feelings were genuine.
But that only made me even more confused.
(Seventeen years have passed too, no?)
It finally made sense why my tattered wand was displayed in his study room.
Far from remembering me once every few days, maybe he liked me more than I thought.
“Therefore, I would be happy if I could maintain this relationship with you.”
On the other hand, he was saying to Tiana, “I don’t plan on getting any closer to you.”
Perhaps the reason he was telling me about the person he adored - the Great Saint - to me who was not even close to him, was to draw a clear line that I should not expect his love.
“...Tiana?”
“R-Right! So it’s like that...”
(I wish I hadn’t asked... It’s definitely better if I didn’t know.)
Even Felix wouldn’t want me to know about his feelings this way. But why was I even bothered about that now!? I screamed to myself inside my head.
To be honest, I was surprised. But I was also happy with Felix’s feelings. It’s really nice knowing that there were people who care about me even now.
(But instead of dwelling on the dead, we should focus on the living.)
Else Reese could no longer do anything for Felix. Instead of devoting himself to Else, it would be better for him to find someone who could support him by his side.
Besides, he was young back then. Admiration, respect, and indebtedness. He might have misunderstood them as love.
(Anyhow, I have to make sure my identity isn’t exposed. Absolutely.)
“It’s already late. I’ll excuse myself now.”
“Yes. See you tomorrow."
I left Felix's room, return to my room, and collapsed on the bed. All while I was still shaken.
(Wow, what a shock...)
"I have someone I love."
"I will spend the rest of my life thinking only of her. My heart will never be moved by someone else.)
I couldn't get Felix’s voice and expression out of my head.
(But Else and the current me, Tiana, are two different people. We should forget about the past, for each other’s sake.)
I did believe so. But it still made me restless. Even if I covered myself with the blanket, I could hardly fall asleep.
(Because this is my first time getting confession - can I even call it confession...? Hm? First time?)
In the meantime, a scene from the past suddenly revived in my mind.
“Me? It’s Else who I like.”
“I like you too, Rufino, but that’s not...”
“No, it’s just as I said. I like you, romantically, as a woman.)
(Right. Rufino confessed to me before... But I died the next day, so I completely forgot.)
Though it’s something in the past that didn't matter anymore, it still shook me up. Even after combining this life and my previous life, my love experience was basically zero. I had no idea what to do now.
(How did I reply at that time...? Hmmm...)
The one they liked was Else. It had nothing to do with me now. Yes, I know that.
In the end, I became restless after thinking about lots of things, and it was early in the morning when I fell asleep.
◇◇◇
Five days had passed since I came to the Reavis Empire. Since then, I'd been treated more than I deserve, living a life of comfort.
My relationship with Felix hadn't changed. We only talked about trivial things whenever we meet. I was nervous around him for a few days, but now I could act normal.
The plan for the Red Cave with Felix and Rufino was in two weeks. Whenever I had the time, I spent my days learning about the empire's 'curse'.
(What a hectic schedule. We can leave only on the day those two busy men have free time, but now I have so many things to do.)
The result was a frightening schedule of big events every other week; the ball, the cave exploration, and the wedding.
This body was quite fragile, so I need to keep myself in shape.
"Saint Tiana, you're perfect! There's nothing left I can teach you."
“Great. Thank you.”
I'd been taking the empire's etiquette lessons since morning, and thankfully, it went smoothly without any hitch.
“Saint Tiana, you’re such a darling! I’m sure everyone all over the country will be enchanted by your appearance!”
“Thanks. I'm a little nervous, but I have to do my best."
Thinking about being seen as the ‘next empress’, after all, made me nervous. Many nobles were aiming for this position. They would definitely start looking for my faults.
I left the hall where I take my lessons and pass through the garden with Marielle, taking a small detour to refresh my mood before heading to my room.
“Hurry up and carry them here! Bring all the potions you have in stock!”
“We don’t have enough hands! Bring me some water!”
Suddenly I heard voices filled with urgency, stopping me from my walk. It was from the Knights Headquarters, which was located within the grounds of the royal castle.
Just what happened? I wonder, but it’s soon answered by a knight carrying another bleeding knight.
“Saint! Please help us...!”
He was one of the knights who accompanied me on my way from the kingdom to the empire. As he yelled out, “Saint,” the people around him all turn their eyes to me, their gazes with desperation.
Looking around, I could see the seriously injured knights being brought in one after another.
(I don’t know if this is the right choice, but I don’t have time to worry.)
There was a possibility that my limited magic power would be exposed. However, if my hesitation for my personal reason caused someone to lose their life, I would definitely regret it for the rest of my life.
(I don't want to feel that way anymore.)
When I think about what I have lost so far, the feeling becomes even stronger. Anyway, I have to do what I can now and think about what comes from it later.
I hurriedly rush over and start casting healing magic on the people with the worst wounds. A high-ranked monster appeared in the urban area, and these knights participated in the urgent subjugation.
(Even the urban areas aren’t safe from monsters... Is this the effect of the ‘curse’?
And their wounds are probably due to inadequate preparation. It breaks my heart to think of how many lives have been lost in the past.
"..."
(Too slow... And my magic power is decreasing too quickly.)
My irritation and frustration are growing due to the excessively slow healing speed. There are still injured people, with wounds that potions alone can’t heal.
(I don't have enough magic power...! At this rate, I can’t...)
I'm sure my magic power will run out soon. It does increase a little, but there’s a limit.
Still, I don’t want to give up. I rack my brain out of desperation, trying to find a way. And then I suddenly remember.
(Yes! The wand!)
"Wait a minute! I'll be right back!"
“Saint Tiana!?”
(I, Else, used to store mana in my wand in case there was an emergency! With that, maybe I can...)
The current me may not be able to use that wand. Still, if there’s a possibility, I should give it a try.
I immediately get up and run straight to Felix’s office.
haven't finished editing this chapter... will do it once im back from work
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